"Basically, don't get pissed off over the fact that the way you feel about culture isn't some kind of universal consensus. Because if you do, you will end up feeling betrayed. And it will be your own fault. You will feel bad, and you will deserve it."
“I saw Abed’s name in the hospital school files. I love butt stuff. I hate spiders. I stole a pen from the bank. I cried during About A Boy…the soundtrack. I don’t wash my hands before a surgery. I can see why women find Clive Owen attractive, to the point where I might just as well be attracted to him. I use comparisons to Hitler to win arguments on the internet at the drop of a hat. I know nothing about wine. I’m more turned on by women in pajamas than lingerie…I just want to know they feel comfortable. I-I didn’t get Inception. I didn’t get Inception! There’s so many layers!”